Young & stupid column: it’s been a long time since so much happened

There used to be more tinsel. Today there’s more lament. About Augstein, Autobahn chickens and the exuberant Stobgetweete.

Like Jakob Augstein’s head: a mandala, next to it a monk Photo: ap

Jakob Augstein is a journalist. His head looks like a mandala, made of pressed foam his face, a single crumple zone all that. Like many good Germans, he dislikes Israel and draws attention to it and to himself, and otherwise anyway, through statements.

On Twitter, for example, "Too much is happening at the same time." If it said "Too much is happening at the same time," it could easily be a "Thermomix" advertising slogan. Or the headline of a text about "Pokemon Go": the young, hip, fresh game of the moment, which is already more popular than Kafka or Hitler’s helpers (in the kitchen, for example, Thermomix). But I’m not writing a book about Kafka (not a text about "Pokemon Go"). It wouldn’t work at all – too much is happening (at the same time).

The worst thing is: Jakob Augstein has to come first, so that one becomes aware of such things. Otherwise, one would walk through the world completely clueless and would only dwell on the periphery of what is happening – on whether and for how long, for example, Wolfgang Bosbach must have talked himself into the gully into which he fell during his vacation in Majorca or whether he got out of there primarily because of his face; why people in Saxony would rather save a highway chicken than refugees; whether there can be a worse sentence in the German language than "Volker Weidermann met Juli Zeh in Brandenburg".

The terror is here

But no, there is enough worse in the meantime. Not for a long time has so much happened at the same time as now. Nice, Turkey, Wurzburg, Munich. The terror is here. The audience is overwhelmed. Hardly anyone can keep up with the mourning. Je suis passe – parlez-vous francais? Interior Minister de Maizière is said to be already proposing initial solutions: In the future, only 70% may pass (finally a sensible upper limit). Meanwhile, the usual meta-loops can be read: Who may, can, should mourn, how, when and why? In former times more tinsel – today more lamento?

Is what has long been or always has been the norm in Europe and the world now happening in Germany? And may then, for example, the millions of dead in the countries from which the raw materials for the smartphones of the happening society come, recede into the background in which they always stood in this country? How interchangeable will the objects of reporting become when there will be hardly any discernible difference in broadcasting time between soccer, terror and the Olympics?

Innocent souls

If the terror of the past two weeks had happened within two months, it would not have been any less terrible.

"Too much is happening at the same time" means above all: Jakob Augstein doesn’t know what to write. In the past, people would have remained silent in such moods. But in today’s too much media, the economy of attention no longer permits this.

On the contrary: far too many innocent souls are still running around out there (at the same time) and sniffing at flowers instead of following Augstein. Because in times like these, it’s probably only the "Hello, here I am," the courageous push tweet that can deliver us from evil.

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